כתבתי שיר אשמח אם תגידו לי מה דעתכם

שואל השאלה:
*start to regret*

so this is it
this is the day
i expected my problems to just go away
disappear like they were never real
that i wouldn't feel
so scared
so ensnared
in my own thoughts
my fears
my ears
my eyes
my face
i wanted to embrace that day
but apperantly i'm unable to feel that way
fell safe
secure
the cure
may help the ill
but it can't help me
or the way that i feel

and i'm starting to think
i lost this
i lost that
i got fat
and i start to regret
all my feels
all my dreams
and i'm trying to think
'bout my friends
'bout my strengths
'bout my hands
'bout my legs
'bout my shirts
'bout my pants
'bout my rants
'bout my fails
** 1 secend break **
why am i so shy?
so afraid to say goodbye?
to the people that don't know me
the people that don't owe me
to the people that wont judge me
but i guss that's how it is
and i know that i wont give up
so i guss that i gotta move on

and don't take me wrong
i love my friends
i miss 'em morning, noon and night
and i can't wait untill it's over
i even miss the times we fight
you don't fight if tou don't care
and if i need help
they'll be there
just like me, i'm there for them
cuz i know they would do the same
thats what friendship is all about
having someone help you out
knowing they will be there
through success and through the anger
i love them and i need them
i love every single one
and without them i would be officially done
i'm completly extroverted
yet i'm so scared of being hated

and i'm starting to think
i lost this
i lost that
i got fat
and i start to regret
all my feels
all my dreams
and i'm trying to think
'bout my friends
'bout my strengths
'bout my hands
'bout my legs
'bout my shirts
'bout my pants
'bout my rants
'bout my fails
** 1 secend break **
why am i so shy?
so afraid to say goodbye?
to the people that don't know me
the people that don't owe me
to the people that wont judge me
but i guss that's how it is
and i know that i wont give up
so i guss that i gotta move on

maybe i'm fucked up
but i always think
that anything i do
will make my self image shrink
that people will hate me
for any small problem
and i'm scared for my life
even though i don't know them
and i know they wont judge me
but the fear's always there
and i still seem to care

have you ever wanted someting so bad
you could die?
and the moment you get it
you're scared for your life?
i need other people
but i can't handle hate
what if people don't think i'm that great?
that they don't want me in their life
that i'm just a dull knife
that they don't want to throw
but they don't want to sharpen
they don't care enough to be there when i need them
that they...
** deep breath **
it's gonna be fine
i'm going to shine
and i know that i have what it takes.

וואוו זה לא שיר זה סיפור חחח. אני חושבת שזה די ארוך לשיר, בשיר צריך בערך 2 בתים וכמה פזמונים ופה יש לך המון.לפי ההתחלה שקראתי את כותבת ממש יפה אבל לדעתי זה טיפה מדכא..

שואל השאלה:
הסגנון כתיבה שלי די דכאוני למרות שאני בן אדם שמח ואין לי לזה הסבר
לשיר יש 3 בתים ופזמון שמשתנה טיפה כל פעם

שואל השאלה:
תודה תודה תודה
וכן
זה ראפ

זה לא נכון זה ממש בסדר לי יש שיר של 3 עמודים וזה עדיין שיר אין לזה חוקים..

ושכחתי להגיד שהשיר ממש יפה